Why a Spiritual Community Is Cruicial for Harmony in Life

The influx of friends and family this time of year can be rough. And it often brings up the question— do you have value?

Furthermore, does everyone you know have value, or does our value come from what you do, who you help, and what you create in life?

What do we say about people – and ourselves, for that matter – when we take on the role of enabler?

Is your value horribly misplaced?

I'm not referring to caring for those who are physically or mentally unable to care for themselves. I'm talking about stepping in when people make choices so they don't have to face the consequences of those decisions.

This season, very good friends of ours, whom I love dearly, came to visit. Having retired at a very young age, their life now focuses on a dysfunctional family, balanced with unique and beautiful trips to explore this amazing planet.

Her mother and partner are both up in age and dealing with dementia and have, out of necessity, moved in with them. This is exceptionally challenging as both need constant care and redirection.

Her sister is older than them, in her early 70s, and healthy. Her much older spouse passed several years ago with no plans made for her retirement. While she worked independently for many years before meeting him, she also made no future plans and lived with them.

A younger brother has had a quadruple bypass and does have a job, contributing his earnings to an absentee wife pursuing a personal dream. He lives with them as well. When our friends cook, he eats well; when they don’t, he lives on fast food.

Now, you would think these two would gladly step up and take on the caretaker responsibilities when (let's call them Lisa and Paul) take off on an adventure or come for a brief respite life a weekend at the SOUL Enhancements Retreat Center.

NO.

When Lisa and Paul get home, they will inevitably find that their pots and pans have been ruined… the cupboards are in shambles.

In general, every type of passive-aggressive action possible has been taken to ensure that they know… that big sister and little brother were not pleased to be left with Mom and her partner!

But they will not step back and let either one deal with the consequences of their choices! Little brother, if he does not live with them, cannot support his absentee wife’s bottomless pit of a passion… and if he eats as he chooses, he will be back in the heart ward of the hospital.

Big sister would have to go out and get a job to supplement her social security and would be unable to live in luxury.

And they would not have as much to bitch and complain about… nor would they get to feel so important and needed. I know this because the entire time they were here, trash-talking their family was their primary focus of conversation… or their amazing trips.

The money they would save would be enough to hire help with the parents.

What do you think?